Too good.

Jason Lazarus: When you fart , everyone can hear you.

Dana B.: let's play dodge the crackhead

The Onion: If you plan to be gone more than a few days, set an automatic timer to turn your lights on and off five times a second while pulsating techno music plays. 続きを読む

Deejay Forte: I, Deejay of house F. 2nd of his name, mayor of the train station and the morning commuters- relinquish my mayorship of Kings Park Train Station. I journey to reside in the Kingdom of Astoria.

Deejay Forte: As new elected mayor of 31st Ave Bareburger, I promise to lobby free pickles for everyone.

gammy dodger: stay in your seat until the seatbelt sign goes off, then get your bags and stand in the aisle until the doors open

Nathan zanelotti: It's not cold, its not spring and theres no harbor. This place is made of lies

Lisa Tonski: Are you ok??

Jennifer Bella: Worst store ever. The crew is terrible. Especially Nicole, Mike and Chris.

Alex Talbot: Hide Smirnoff ices in the driveway for Chris to find

Danielle C: Take a shot every time Weather Channel loses their shit about anything.

Rachel Flynn: Step one: get your equity card. Step two: sleep late.

Tim Colby: It's ok nothing to brag about. I don't think they make their own meatballs.

Brian Koenen: If I had a nickel for every time the guard smiled, I'd have zero nickels.

Sara Rowghani: Roses are red. Violets are clever. I like your ass. I wanna touch you forever.

David Teicher: There's a hidden door near gate 224. It leads to a secret tunnel system built by J Edgar Hoover. It's a bit of a maze but if you follow the right wall, you eventually end up in Ohio.

Tony Massey: Have the Honey Boo Boo to drink. This Gogo juice will help you win pageants!!

Vinnie Costa: I feel so non-union...

Willow _: To reduce stress, don't fly with your family.

Cameron Jones: Try the airplanes.

Courtney: Pretend you're not in NYC

Byron Lu: There is meth in the coffee.

Kyle Bunch: watch out for latex gloves in the salads

Jack Lenk: Running across Penn at rush hour is a bit like football practice

Andy M: Go inside your own soul and find true horror. Reward yourself with a can of Sprite.

Kevin M: I heard Justin beiber playing the other day... Menards has beiber fever!

Christopher Brown: I shave stuff here sometimes

Laurinda H: If you take the to Kings Park station and you leave your car there and you get picked up at the Huntington train station then you need to remember to go back to Kings Park and pick up your car