"Best filiberto's in the valley, but probably the stingiest with the hot sauce."
"Don't even attempt a stop at the bathroom on the weekend."
"Don't go here. They'll hustle you out of money and then forget to give you a receipt."
"Come early and on weekdays. Weekend crowds make for an awful experience."
"Don't ask for a free gift with purchase. They will only offer you one if they want to."