"Generally a good idea to light the candle on top of toilet -- doesn't smell so much like human fecal matter as much as it does cherry blossoms in the spring."
"Hold the handle on the toilet down when flushing for at least a good 5 seconds otherwise your poop won't go away."
"If you're lucky you'll get to see Thomas or Frank, the Casey Moore's cats. They're the greatest."
"The AC isn't broken, there's a switch for it behind the curtain!"
"Excellent and well air-conditioned building for dumping."
"Try the pepperoni pie for an overall great dish."