"I could leave a Dixie cup full of Bud Light out in the sun for seven days, it still wouldn't be as bad as the Bud Light served in this establishment."
"Charging to use the air hose lying on the sidewalk and tripping old people? Nickel&dimed me away for good."
"Douche bartenders who take forever to ask you "Hey bro, what can I like, get you?" and it's overpriced. They should turn this place back into a lumber yard or whatever. This place seriously sucks."
"Stupid gimmick + some of the blandest food I've ever had."
"Get the Rigatoni Special. Holy crap, this stuff is good."
"Ask for Vaughn. He's the greatest. Tell him tootnanny on foursquare sent you."