"Where this time we complained about our last visit, and a lovely girl called Violet gave us free onion rings. Result!"
"we got propositioned by a very drunk young lady here last night. Couldn't keep her hands off us and kept telling us "you smell so good". She was only after one thing - our large pepperoni passion..."
"...and where men in pink polo-shirts are not familiar with the concept or personal space or patience and will stand behind you with their nose in your neck whilst huffing into your collar..."
"...where they're so keen to clean up they'll drag bags of rubbish across your back whilst you're seated..."
"Why not have your lunch today in Burger King? Where a chap will physically push you into a queue whilst mumbling gibberish, where apparently a 'double' refers to pieces of bread and not beef..."
"Remember the sign says 'Queue both sides', but no-one ever does, preferring instead to queue out the door. Bear in mind there are another two Greggs stores in town as well though..."