Shane Cunningham

"Slowest pumps in ATX."

"Pro tip: try the blueberry pancakes."

"The employees have a spectacular view of my patio, and every so often, through venetian blinds, my morning self scantily wrapped in a robe."

"U-Verse is expanding by the day, so stop by and see if it has arrived in your neighborhood! Ask about the current promos."

"do yourself a favor and live somewhere else"