"Don't sit at the bar unless you want to be ignored or wait 30 mins for 2 eggs over easy or if you want your waitress to avoid making eye contact with you or if you only want 1 cup of coffee."
"You can call ahead and they will make everything from steaks and burgers to their delish pork spare ribs. If you don't know what to make for dinner call the deli, they will make it for you."