"If you want to see how badly you dance, here's a good place to find out."
"If you speak Cantonese and stick around to make chit chat, the owner's wife would offer to cook you authentic Chinese cuisine next time you drop by."
"You're in Oaxaca. Why are you even looking at this?"
"The pasta here is terrible."
"Some of the hairdressers are easy on the eyes. Try not to be too fidgety."
"If you get the super hot sauce... prepare your anus."