Nic Dressel

"With some more furniture, this might pass as a real dwelling."

"If you visit here, good luck parking."

"The woman who works here mornings is sadistic. My little girl has stomach problems and she wouldn't let her use the restroom. She ended having an accident right in the lobby while I begged to use it."

"Plead the fifth. They can't get ya if you plead the fifth."

"Feel free to show up in pajama bottoms and slippers. People who shop here have given up on life."

"As mayor, I hearby decree that I am the most awesome mayor that Cedar Village has ever had!"