"Screw this place. I had to call the police because they wouldn't give me my ID and credit card back to me."
"Majority of the time you will always be the most attractive guy in here."
"Happy hour is great if you are old. The old lady bartender is racist."
"Jimmy B. stop being a dickhead and spamming foursquare."
"Dude is weird and half the beers don't work..."