"Prepare for awesomeness!"
"Beware when eating ice cream here. One of the cats is completely mad for ice cream (and cheese, or really any dairy based products. Well, she's kinda mad for all food. Just beware when eating at all."
"Try petting the kitties, they're really sweet."
"Dry your hands in the bottom bathroom. I'm pretty sure the hand dryer is powered by jet engines."