"Ring the bell if no one is at the front desk."
"So loud. If you're here on business during the week get ready to wake up to the sound of doors slamming shut starting at 5:45am."
"Get the buffalo hot... If you can handle it"
"You can find some porn in the wall if you look in the hole in the hallway towards the bathroom."
"Go with a friend to the cafe and order a smoothie. More likely than not, they'll ask you id you want an extra smoothie from the leftovers in the blender"