"Go upstairs. Small staircase behind the inside bar. It's haunted. And has padded walls."
"Don't open the small doors in the walls behind the tables. That's where they keep the dead bodies."
"Ask for Jose's Secret Sauce on your burrito. They keep it under the counter out of view. I can't eat here without that stuff. You'll thank me later."
"Take your shoes off before falling asleep. You'll thank me later."
"If you go here regularly, you most likely have a mustache, gauges, several tattoos, and/or american apparel attire. I love it. Best Tempe Bar."