"Pork roast was bland--make sure your meal is to taste before you walk away."
"Pay with cash so you don't have to wait an extra 30m for your cards"
"The Eggs Benedict is the best Eggs Benedict available at this address (based on Seaside location)"
"Be sure to ask about the brainwashing!"
"Watch out for the bed bugs, the crack dealer in 208, and the surly Australian night door guy Lawrence."