"They should move the key cutting machine away from the Customer Care desk so employees can focus on returns instead of cutting keys."
"Great haircuts for an amazing price!"
"Automated taps and soap dispensers in the outhouses? Fraudulent!"
"To work here, one of the qualifications must be looking homely."
"Wireless network (nazvill) password is taped to the coffee table in the gift shop!"
"Take a class during MOD week - focus on one course and get it out of the way!"