Laurin McNiff

"Tell Joey he's the breast! :D"

"Don't check in if you don't live here, it makes you look like a desperate foursquare asshole - which you probably are."

"Interesting how people I've never met are mayor of my apartment. And weird."

"I've tried the food twice and regretted it both times. The poppers were overdone and the pizza tasted like Elio's frozen crap."

"Have a beer, have a good time. Mandatory."

"Bring a few rolls of $1 bills and maybe someone will strip for you."