"Left lane for bunching up and never passing only."
"Gross, disgruntled cashier is rude to customers, more news at 11."
"Be sure to request if you want your plate to arrive with the rest of the table's food, or if you want the egg whites cooked in your over medium eggs, or if you want bacon that isn't burnt."
"Look out for scathing humor and good music!"
"Everything is good, and good is an understatement."
"How many jackasses can you fit in one tiny little store?"