"FOR TOURISTS ONLY. came here because friends in town asked. terrible sushi. they even fucked up miso soup. my friend had a LARGE BUG CRAWLING ON HIS FOOD. if you're a local, help shut this place down."
"There is a completely psychotic office manager/receptionist here who screams at all the patients and terrorizes the rest of the staff. Bring lithium to jam down her throat when you check in."
"Eat at this former mausoleum while you're visiting the catacombs and Paolo will entertain you with historical facts."