"Don't buy your produce here, about a quarter of it is moldy"
"Watch your cart when you leave - lots of people are trying to steal it foe the quarter."
"To the big guy with the mohawk...no one cares to hear you grunt. Shut up."
"Whitney is nice but she adds more to her tip without your consent...try not to get her as a waitress"
"First Starbucks I've been to where the coffee wasn't scalding hot and I could drink it right away...A+ Starbucks, A+"
"Front row seat to a bar fight!"