"Dear Patrick J. I have news for you: you're a fucking idiot. The Jerkstore is literally my apt, but you've never been here.. hmmm.. that'd odd. Pretty sure the asshole store is on 57 St. One block up."
"Two is a group, three's a crowd, 17 is a Jerkstore."
"Free brownies at the door! Awesome sandwiches (try the chubby chinese girl sandwich) and I love their pizza."