"Chicken so spicy your butthole might just divorce your body and move to California."
"All the sandwiches are really good. For something less traditional, try the Miramar."
"Get the Big Mess breakfast sandwich on whole wheat toast."
"The date cake is proof that a mouth can have an orgasm."
"Bagels are really good but they put way too much cream cheese on that ish. They also happen to charge an extra $3 for cream cheese when bagels cost $1.25. Cop your own cream cheese."