"The sandwiches here are some of the best in the neighborhood. Prepare together your hands dirty! The portion sizes are huge and easily shareable. Coffee's not the best, though."
"Frequently smells like dead bodies in here. But I usually walk out with whatever I need."
"The Sunday brunch is a way-overpriced mediocre buffet. I don't recommend this to anyone."
"The mayor here gets to figure out how to turn on my gas powered living room space heater. I have never used it before. You might die."