"This airport is named for George H.W. Bush, the biggest turd in the white house since Lincoln's historic Post-civil-war dookie."
"Home of the "good-looking discount""
"Not Chuck E. Cheese. Please don't bring your kids here."
"Kiss the guy in curtains for good luck."
"Pastor looks like Kevin Spacey"
"The dark arts professor is a werewolf. Stay away on full moons."