"Amazing selection on weekdays. Use cash for a teeny tiny discount. If you find an employee to help, hold them hostage while you shop, because no one will help you in this store."
"Enchilada soup is fantastico!"
"Creme Brulee French Toast was underwhelming. Might return for lunch option."
"Happy hour is the only value! 3:30 to 6:30."
"Coffee cooler! You should make that happen in your life."