"If you come here you better have plenty of free time on your hands as it takes 5 minutes to get your order."
"Get yer pills here, cheeper!"
"Remember Sam's Club Optical Center is opening soon! Save on eyewear at Sam's Club!"
"Don't forget about the Wal*Mart Holiday Layaway! Now thru December 23rd...I think. See Walmart.com for more details."
"If you park here. Do not park anywhere near this island! You will get blocked in by idiots!"