"Service here is always atrocious. The view is not even worth it. Go to Tilted Kilt down the street."
"Staff is extremely helpful and friendly. Feel free to browse around! They enjoy it."
"Oops. I meant jehova witnesses."
"Use the side door. Except jevoha witnesses. You guys keep knocking on the door we don't use."
"Don't mind the turtle tank in the tub."
"Come in and check it out!"