Aaron Blumenthal

"Apparently there's no standing allowed in the bar area, which is hilarious, because there are exactly 8 stools for the entire bar area."

"THE place to see and be seen if you're down on your luck and appear to have an addiction to a Schedule II or higher controlled substance."

"An excellent place to bring straight people who you'd really rather not talk to ever again."

"Pro Tip: Don't get murdered."

"History will judge your life to be a complete failure if you leave without ordering the cookie dessert thing. It's delicious. It's warm. It's for you."

"The panini here would be better-described as a pa-no-no. If you're absolutely jonesing, ask your past-her-prime waitress for some cardboard with some thumbtacks in it for an equivalent experience."