"You can get a new laundry card using credit - just ask! Also, the smallest $3 machines are tucked away on the right hand side. Plus, this place is home to the largest washer in MA - 125 lbs!"
"Friendly but my gel manicures consistently chip within days. Bring your own polish!"
"BRA produces some really sweet marketing materials!"
"$4.20 for one chocolate covered strawberry?! Call the police & tell them to bring a rape kit!!"
"Someone jacked the majorship to my own apartment w/o ever being there, thus I'm here to pirate yours! Bwhahah Hillside St represent!"
"Check the expiration date on all consumables from Hillside Market. Always."