"I just ate their ham and brie croissant. I want 5 more."
"Bacon: 3/10. It was overcooked, and thinner than an anorexic runway bone-rack"
"They will acknowledge your arrival when they're finished pontificating on things more important than your time"
"The meat counter lady is slow. But she insists on offering me a sample of the meat i just ordered."
"Get an Old Fashioned. Better yet: Meet up with a girl your roommates girlfriend told you you'd love on your first trip to NYC and let her buy you two only to underestimate the drink's strength and the"
"Hostess gave us ruditude when we asked if we could sit in the back."