"Best deal on dark and stormies in Warwick. Owner is a little shifty though. He's coming for you, Julia. Runnnn!"
"Go here on Sundays- much less crowded then"
"I did check out the guest rooms of the Comfort Suites Chicago Hotel! Did not live up to the hype!!! I'm enraged with sadness!!!"
"The Monday special- a surefire way to awkwardly get a glass of decent sangria for just 2 dollars and all the judgement and hatred a spurned waiter can provide"
"They sometimes sell sandwiches that you can eat"