"No wifi because they want to keep it 'personal'... Seriously?? Get over yourself, get some wifi and be user friendly!"
"Don't eat the seared beef nigiri... Tastes fine but texture is slimy!"
"Grab the free fruit as soon as it's delivered... The bananas always go first!"
"Staff are lovely and the sofa is very comfortable. Food is basic but satisfying. Watch out for the dodgy shower curtain!"
"The communal milk is not to be used for milky coffees."
"You can get free sparkling water by pressing 81 at the vending machine."