"King Robert the Bruce's favourite Kirk. Not only did he take sermons through the 'lepers window' but took a chunk of it with him on the crusades as a good luck charm"
"Best not steal all the duvet. The otter bites..."
"Killer Fucking Swans! They crave human flesh...."
"Good tea and coffee, and occasionally cake too. Marred slightly by Piershill being visible"
"Nice atmos, and one of THE best Steak & Guinness Pies known to human kind!"
"Good food, fabulous service. Garth is a bar god, and Wade works miracles in the kitchen! It's a 3-dimensional flavour-gasm!!"