"This stall is the cleanest first thing in the morning - avoid after morning smoke/coffee breaks at all costs."
"Don't get the cream of mushroom soup."
"Avoid wiping your hands on the towel beside the shower after taking a dump - there's no telling where that towel's been."
"Brutally slow - cmon guys you can do better than that!!"
"Beware of dogs! Especially a particularly over-friendly Wheaten Terrier!"