"Welcome to your neighbrohood, LOLgan Square. While you won't bump into your hipster ex here, shuffle bowling and foosball hockey are awesome."
"Banana cupcakes are also a good option!"
"This place chars their dogs and it's incredible. The kraut dog is $3.50 and comes with a heaping portion of sauerkraut and a huge pickle spear. Recommended."
"If you fancy yourself a ping pong master, ask to battle Ryan K, Josh S, David, or Angus. They were Final Four qualifiers at the old Sprout HQ's "Sprout Open"!"
"Don't stay here! Roaches EVERYWHERE. Found them in the hall and in two different rooms and two different floors. Disgusting and they refused me a full refund!"
"Take care of her, and if you're feeling frisky put her in Sport Mode! It's the button to the left of the shifter."