"This actually isn't a wine bar."
"Got my first bike here in '95 and that bike is still going strong. I have only had to take it in for a tune up once since I have has the bike."
"The A/C doesn't work most of the time do just crack open a window."
"The first shower stall clogs up."
"Bring coffee if you have an 8am"
"The first toilet sounds like a jet engine"