"Here's my tip: if you're looking for tacos on a budget then go to Taco Shack! Decent size tacos for reasonable prices; however, the tacos suck and will make you poop like you've never pooped before!"
"Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your DRUGS!"
"The beer pong record is 12-1 (1 on 1)"
"Is this a private park? I live down from the park and would like to know if I could play basketball at this park?"
"Feel free to bring: beer, food, and toilet paper."