Axel Geisler

"#1: Franklin Mint#2: Lightning Rod#3: Root Beer Float"

"Get groped! Also, don't let the TSA steal your jacket."

"Try not to get hustled playing basketball."

"Get the Roast Pork with Provolone. If you happen to have the rare occurrence of bumping into the actual Jack when he's there, make sure to give him a hard time."

"Ask "Fluff" the barber for a 2 on the sides and a 4 on top."

"Best parking lot is at 8th & Race Sts. For an award-winning yet cheap meal, head to Sang Kee Duck House right across the street at 9th & Vine Sts."