Mr London

"Mental, I'm sat at the bus stop, but apparently I'm 500 yards away and score no points!"

"Has been repainted for corporate sponsorship. How disgusting that history is treated in this way."

"Don't go for a coffee in the tourist shop, walk up the road, take the left over the bridge for 5 mins and get a coffee on the loch at the hotel there instead."

"When visiting lookout for the Studio Manager, he's working on his first screen play and is one day sure to be a big hit in Hollywood."