"BB is the worst mayor ever. Crime is up, schools are bad and property values are at an all-time low."
"If you're thinking about splitting the hot lobster roll...don't do it!!! You will eat it all, trust me."
"The other tip is completely false. Nick is a douchebag."
"One of the better views in Austin."
"Make sure you eat until you feel like you're going to die."
"Chicken Mole is legit. Taste like the one grandma used to make."