"Hmm, don't stand still too long, you'll end up getting tagged by one of the local graffiti crews..."
"The 19€ a day "high-speed" Internet is nostalgically charming, like 1998 AOL dial-up, only slower."
"Password for the wifi is: internet"
"The internet is free, and the speed reflects that price. Painfully slow. Painfully painfully slow. It's really slow."
"Bring a jacket. It's chilly."
"Just a heads, the internets are from olden times."