"come to the lifeguard tower if you need a lifeguard."
"WiFi here is very fast: 10.7Mbps - via hotelwifitest.com"
"WiFi here is very slow: 0.96Mbps - via hotelwifitest.com"
"Starbucks Coffee sold in the Lobby"
"WiFi here is quite fast: 6.2Mbps - via hotelwifitest.com"
"If the line's too long, walk across the street to Bravo's Mexican. Way better than waiting for Hoodad's!"