"There are two handles on the door to the bathrooms. On one there's a sign saying "don't use this handle". Don't use that handle."
"Seems most people come here when it's really busy, but if it's not, don't forget to get a token from your server to go to the restroom"
"If in transit between NYC and DC like most people here, stay on your train."
"Hey! Stop pouring sand into the drinking water fountain!"
"If you're scanning the menu desparately looking for anything not fried, don't get too excited about the roasted garlic mushrooms like I did. Read the fine print: they are roasted breaded and fried."
"Great atmosphere! You can easily imagine mafia hits being planned in the dark corners."