Brazos Elkins

"In case you were wondering, the guacamole is not particularly good. Get the queso."

"Man, you guys are doing it wrong. I got my two Purple Orgasm Slushes in a minute flat."

"If it wasn't already obvious, don't get the coffee. It tastes like a small animal died in my cup, and then a group of children pissed on it. And then kicked me in the nuts."

"Louisiana rub. Tastes great, not hot at all."

"Banana pancakes!"

"Yup. There's definitely some dank, gnarly green in the ceiling of the commons bathroom."