"In the amount of time it takes them to make a sandwich you could bake a pizza/cook a steak/watch a quarter of football, etc."
"Don't let the waiting list deter you! Bill rules."
"Get a pour over! You won't regret it!"
"They have ZERO Hitchcock movies. WTF is up with that?!"
"If you're in high school it really like meth you'll love this place! Everyone else should just jump back in their car and go to Fashion."