"This place is objectively not good as evidenced by the disappointed look on Nina's face"
"Make sure you try the queso and eat it all so you can get the cheeseleather that forms on the bottom of the skillet."
"They stalled my car and it took about 20 minutes for an exterior wash. Excellent selection of greeting cards in the waiting area tho."
"Maria is super helpful and has a positive outlook on life. Rent the four wheeled bike!"
"Posting haiku: Eat the bruschetta, the candle-lit ambiance, will make you feel calm"
"Not open on Sunday. Why?"